Last night when I sleep, I had a very bad dream about my boyf. He did something wrong and he was being send to the NPP. I am so worried for him that I waiting for him. Waited the whole night and he is not being released. I called up uncle danny and ask him how. He came down to wait with me and tell my nothing will happened. After few hours more, in the morning 6 plus am, my boyf is being released. See from his face like nothing happened. But i cant help but to start crying. He have to work to be a policeman for 2 years in his service and know the law but his is breaking the law. After many asking from me, he told me that he will need to pay a fine and need to do some comm service.

Finally Friday is arriving. Tomorrow is the day (: Time passes so slow today for me. It is only 3 plus and there are so many hours to night. Time at night passes faster as I able to text and chat with him. Last night, I am so devoted that I tell myself that I really need to start studying for UT 3. But when I am looking at the 6P, I cant stay awake to read through the 6P. Someone please save me. Make me awake to study. Or maybe is just my brain. Studying at night is a better solution for me. In such a weather that is telling me that rain is arriving, make me want to sleep more than studying. In such a body condition, I also want to sleep. Didnt manage to sleep well last night. Wake up a lot of time. But just 3 more days left for me to study. Tonight I shall study atleast 1 module. Every night 1 module. Definitely will help.

I have never like to be in holiday state. Although I hate going to class, I also do not like being at home. I do not like the way how unfair it is at home. If I am at home, why everything is my fault. If I am not at home, also my fault. I really cant take it. I really want to cry out. So I can feel better. But you are not around. who can be with me. I wish that you are around for me. I am not that brave. I am not that brave to face all this by myself. But I believe, I can be brave to wait for you.

Today is the 3rd day my boy had enter HTA. There are still 7 more days where I will be able to see him again. Time passes slowly and he is coming to my mind every now and then. I cant stop thinking of him. How I wish things never change. How I wish time are like the past, where he will always by my side and be with me. Now knowing how he in until at night, really make my mind run wild. I do not want things to happen this way. I need him badly. I need him by my side and take care of me. Time in the weekdays passes so slow, what about weekends? It will definitely be harder to survive this weekend. The only thing I can do is sleep and watch show on a weekend. Where else can I go without you around?

Back from having dinner with my group of friends. They talk to me about how's my boy inside army and stuff. They are making me to feel better, asking me to cheer up. Laugh and have fun together, making me feel better but I still miss him a lot. Time pass faster when I am with them compare to staying at home and watching show. Had a small chat with boyf over the phone, can tell that he is bored in there and I can tell that he is not adapt to that place and want me to chat with him on the phone. I really wish I can talk to him on the phone. But his battery life is not that much left and there are so many days left. He is alone in there but I have friends with me. I think he indeed suffer more than me. Wonder did he cry while thinking of me. I cant think of him when I am alone. I admit I will cry as I am not that brave afterall. I admit I am weak inside. I cry easily.

Why!!! I am still unable to adapt to you not around. Time really passes very slow. Counting down to 8 more days that you are able to be back. I not sure how long I can endure. But I will try.

I dont think anyone will read this post. But I am seriously angry and I really want to say it out. Although there is someone that I can speak to, but I know saying it here and telling that someone is the same.